Final Thoughts On Concepts Class

I'll keep it simple to start...I really enjoyed this class.

I think it's important to have a class like this and I was PUMPED to start the year because I knew I'd FINALLY be able to have a voice. \

I'm passionate. I really, really care about what I create. This semester my feelings towards what I create have become more and more passionate. 

I'm competitive. Like...okay...this may be perceived as cocky or unnecessary to say....but I want to have the best artwork every time I submit a piece. For me, it's similar to wanting to be the best basketball player and feeling frustrated when you aren't or you have a bad game. The difference with art is that I can think my stuff out and really develop feelings to one specific moment or project. 

I have been perceived as cocky in this class because I believe so much in my ideas and I want to succeed SO BADLY that I EXPLODE in class when given a chance too. It's the night before out last class as I type and I'm so excited to present my book. I'm so excited to apologize to the class for possibly offending some people. This is what I live for. What could be better than creating something with thought behind it (that's personal to you), and then presenting it to a group of people? Nothin. Nothin is better than that. 

I'm not super confident in myself. 

...But I put on this mask on in class when presenting that makes people think I'm confident. I'm training myself to be a professional here. That's my goal. No one wants to hire someone who doesn't ooze confidence and excitement in what they do or create.

I literally personified this character with my costume project. I played "I Am A God" by Kanye in the background. That character is who comes to concepts class when it's time to present. I'm sorry that maybe this character is scary or cocky to some...but to me I have to get in this mindset or else I will literally say that my project sucks and people will wonder why I'm so down all the time. People will just want me to get over it and have more confidence in my work. 

And I don't think I've been cocky. Like I said, I've been perceived as that by some...but I think I've made fun of myself and joked around a bit in presentations...I think I've done a good job of just speaking and sharing my ideas and creations in a confident matter. 

This class isn't about your grade. It's not about your artwork. It's about learning how to think as an artist...and I believe I've learned how to express myself and think, better.

So...thank you, Ms. Rothrock. You're the perfect teacher for this class. You're so understanding and open minded that it allows crazy kids like me to feel comfortable and like I CAN create and BECOME what I want to. I really really appreciate you as a teacher and a person.

IDENTITY

Alright final project...normally I don't wait until the last minute to get projects done. I've worked my self pretty hard this semester(because I wanted to). However, for this last project I was overwhelmed with thoughts that came from various different places; plus stress from making sure I finish the semester strong in other classes. Quite frankly I didn't even have any ideas until this week.

It's weird how you can find inspiration in the weirdest, most awkward, awful places. This week I was already feeling down when I just happened to randomly discover that a classmate wasn't too fond of me because of the way I spoke out in regards to our class pop culture discussion. Honestly that really upset me and I had to apologize. I'm only passionate about what I have to say, when I do speak. I used to be extremely quiet and too scared to say what I wanted to say. Now after years of hearing how I NEED to stand up for myself and I SHOULD share my ideas...I'm finally trying. I never in my life have tried to put myself above anyone and when I do speak my mind, it's not meant to be putting people down. When I spoke out in class a few weeks back it was only to add to the conversation because it made me mad the way it was going. I didn't feel like I did anything wrong at the time, but it made me sick because I was so upset for being against the majority. I don't wanna cause problems. I just wanna make sure all bases are being covered. Personally, I love hearing all sides. I love debates. I love when someone has something to say and they say it....and I'm sorry I made specific people feel bad or like they couldn't respond after I did. I'm rambling, but obviously this really effected me.

Now how does this relate to identity? Perfectly. It's almost weird how this all happened and I could feed off it for my project. The way others view me is very much my identity. If I was a cocky person, I might say I was the best artist in the class or the best looking (LOL NO) or the smartest (LOLLLLL)....does that mean that others would view me as those things? No. They'll likely view me as an overly confident, cocky, asshole. Might as well mention him one last time.....Kanye West. He is a self proclaimed "god", "creative genius" and more. To his credit, he does do great things and has awards and material that backs up what he says. He's an intelligent human being with alot of positive ideas. HOWEVER, he brings his ideas to the public in a manner that causes people to hate him. People literally hate him and 99.9% of them haven't ever met the guy. By all accounts he's a nice guy. Fashion designers cosign his passion and creativity and give him credit for being really good at what he does. But his IDENTITY to the general public is a cocky, jerk. TMZ and other news outlets reports this and that and such and such about him and we (the public) know Kanye West (and other public fugures) via what we read and see. If we all knew these celebrities/famous people we might really truly like them. Unfortunately, we aren't going to befriend a bunch of celebrities.

So where does this leave us? Am I trying to say that people are wrong for disliking Miley Cyrus or Kanye West? No! That's totally and perfectly fine. I really don't care whether you don't like them because of what you see and hear from them. But when the dislike turns to HATE, I feel really bad for the famous person. I don't think I HATE anyone in the world and if I do it's because they did something really bad to my family or I personally.

All I want people to do is sit back and relax a bit. Yes, I do care about Kanye's new music video (as I unfortunately let it be known in class). But does it reallllllllllly matter whether I like it? Or even that it was released? No. Is a music video, quote or performance by 1 singular person really worthy of making fun of their physical appearance? No. That's just shallow and disgusting in my opinion.

We decide so many people's identity everyday. Obviously the individual controls how they act but we have to remember that we are all humans here. We deserve respect and some level of support from one another. Putting down another person will not help you gain...it only brings negativity to a place that needs positivity and support.

My identity in class when I speak my mind may be negative. That's why I apologized to my classmate and cleared things up. I hurt myself because I was passionate and possibly aggressive...I had no bad intentions and I never intended to harm anyone's feelings.

MOVING ALONG....

The newspaper, magazines, websites and other medias are outlets for discussion. They give people shots of news and information on certain people and events. As readers, we perceive people to be whatever they are portrayed to us via media. We don't all know Barrack Obama personally. We didn't all know Nelson Mandela personally. There's nothing you can do about that. We aren't going to have the opportunity to know these people...that's why we have to keep an open mind and try not to be quite so harsh with our judgements. HAVE AN OPINION. LET THE WORLD KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS. But don't attempt to bring others down if all that you know is based on what others have reported. The media is highly unreliable in today's society anyways.

Relating back once again to Julia and Courtney's fake celebrity Tweet project again; the girls mentioned how media outlets will put anything in the title to get you to click the link. Anyone can make anything up at anytime. Unless we were there, how can we be so quick to HATE an individual for their actions. It's not that big of a deal if Justin Bieber has sex. It's the most irrelevant thing compared to even my person trials and tribulations...why do we feel the need to get SO excited (negative and positive form of excited) about something that doesn't effect us at all?

Before I go further with info on my actual project.....

You're probably thinking...."but Jesse I KNOW you and I think you're a jerk because you said this and this and it was confrontational! You're point isn't correct!!"

The thing is, even tho we may hear an interview or watch a video we don't like and judge based on physically seeing actions we don't condone.....or if we hear someone talk and don't like the way they talked....unless you know that person how can you be sure you know exactly where it was coming from?

Celebrities make mistakes and do stupid things and it's caught on camera. They say stupid stuff in interviews. I was too confrontational in class. But do those actions directly reflect exactly who celebrities or I am/are at heart? No. Again, I apologized to my classmates because I never meant to come across negatively. Things happen in the heat of the moment and cause people to IDENTIFY you in specific ways.

As an artist, you must treat yourself no different than a celebrity. Artists and artwork are extremely expressive and also professionals who may work in a corporate enviroment. Everyone, artist/celebrity/famous person/public figure, or not...you must maintain your image and be sure you are being portrayed the way you wish to be at all times. If you come across in a bad way, fix it.


NOW ON TO MY PROJECT FINALLY!

So I mentioned the newspaper. It can cause people to perceive others in many different ways, specific to the way the article is written.

My last medium I needed to use for class was ALTERED OBJECT. I had no idea how to make this work but the first thing I thought of was seeing a HOW TO on YouTube (RESEARCH HERE). It shows how to make a women's clutch hand bag out of newspaper (I'm weird and I like to figure out how to do this kinda stuff in my off time..)...

So naturally I thought...

Why don't I turn a newspaper into a book?

An altered object project only implies that you find an object and alter it. 

I FOUND a newspaper and I ALTERED it using some matte board, glue, paper, paint, colored pencil and marker. 

Below you can go ahead and check out my final result...

TITLED: "MAKE LOVE NOT ASSUMPTIONS"

I'm not going to explain each page here on the blog because I really believe that books come into full affect when you can hold it in your hands.

But, I will say that in general I was coming partly from a fictional space and also a personal space with this book. I wanted the book to feel like it was made by someone who was being written about on a public form of media (newspaper) and they turned it around and explained themselves via a more personal form of communication (book).

I played alot with the idea of PERCEPTION.

RED can equal WAR or ALERT....and it can also equal LOVE.

When you see the book from a distance you may think..."wow this book is probably negative in some way because the color is IN YOUR FACE and there's a screaming black guy on the front cover!"

But when you pick it up and looks at it...you see a image of MLK and Mandela hugging on the back. They're accompanied by hearts, smilies, and dream catchers. Inside the book, there are words of questioning media and claims of only wanting to create and show love towards others. The book PLEADS with readers to not ASSUME what you have heard is correct.

Again it's okay to not like someone. We all have opinions and some things are simply going to turn us off. That's totally okay. But unless you personally know a celebrity or you know from multiple experiences and conversations that someone is a complete cocky jerk...please just reserve huge judgements. Maybe the individuals NEED love and the world might be a better place if they can be understood or helped in some way....maybe you as a listener or viewer can make the world a better place by simply remaining neutral and not placing such specific, awful ideas upon an individual.

This is such an important and complex topic for me, sorry for the length and possible confusion of/within this post.

DISCLAIMER: Again, if you hate someone or even just dislike them and have a great reason too...by all means hate and dislike them. I'm speaking in regards to the people who see an image of someone and hate them because of what they see. I'm just holding out hope that most people in the world have great intentions and if we stay positive and help each other, the world can be an even more wonderful place.

More Research:

Style/Influence... Wes Lang

Miley Cyrus speaks on planning out everything she does and making sure it's perfect (Her identity is planned regardless of how we perceive it/act like she's just insane) http://www.mtv.com/shows/miley_the_movement/series.jhtml

THANK YOU for listening to me. I appreciate it so much. I'm sorry to cause conflict. However, I wouldn't have come to this conclusion with the project, and my ideas would not have developed without having everything that has happened, happen.

Art 21 Artists

KERRY JAMES MARSHALL (IDENTITY)

Art has been around for a LONG time and he mentions how the foundations were established long ago. I like the way he acknowledges the meaning he places in color...I try to do a lot of the same. Color is such a powerful force because it's, in some cases, globally recognized to have a specific meaning.

SHAHZIA SIKANDER (SPIRITUALITY)

Just in general...without even talking about the artist's work in particular, I think the method of art can be such an interesting thing. Sikander uses unique materials in unique ways. These ideas were likely self developed...I think everyone in our class this semester can relate to developing technique. None of us are complete experts. No artist is. So I think the method of art becomes spiritual in that it's personal. Artists don't use instruction books for their whole life. They find a way to do something and make it their own. It's all about combining and formulating a recipe for awesomeness.

DO-HO SUH (STORIES)

Stories are everywhere in artwork, especially public art. Suh pointed out meanings of monuments and questioned them. Instantly my mind went off thinking of conspiracy theories and how things may not be as they seem with all art....I'm not THAT crazy to think that monuments are all government placed and have hidden meaning and what not but it's fun to think about.

JUDAY PFAFF (ROMANCE)

Her art was super personal in method and content. She used deaths of families members as fuel to create and the process of burning may have helped her cope with death in a way. Again, I think this relates back to your spirit as an artist.

REFLEKTION

ALERT: Please excuse my not-fully-explained ideas and thoughts. This is just a stream of whatever popped into my mind. I'm not the smartest guy but I think a lot.

WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED IN THIS CLASS ABOUT BEING AN ARTIST?

It's hard to answer this and act like I learned this in ONLY concepts...so I'll acknowledge that I'm taking from 2D also...

I think the worst thing you can do as an artist is to do what's popular...or what's expected. I really really don't wanna sound stuck up but when I talk to my parents about my classes I often explain others work as typical "art class art". What I mean by that is just the way that when we compare each others projects side by side in 2D... or one after another in concepts....most of them look the same. Doesn't mean they're bad...but very rarely does one piece STAND OUT. It seems as if a lot of people only know how to create art from a school project standpoint rather than a creative standpoint.

I may be way over my head here and sound like I have an ego....but I'm sick of seeing the same stuff. I don't get excited over seeing alot of my classmates work...sounds bad but it's true. I don't know what to say sometimes when critiquing because it's just the same stuff over and over. I will not claim to be the BEST artist...I am not...yet anyways. But I do try to do things differently and stand out.

And just to be clear...I get super excited about lots of art I see online. Again, I'm not stuck up...I just love creative stuff....and yeah I guess I might have high standards.

I only wanna encourage people to go beyond what's expected.

WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO IN LIFE WITH YOUR ART?

Too much probably. I may have mentioned this before but I dream of being a visual dictator. I want to get in my car....drive to Target and see billboards I designed on the way there....and then once inside I see album packages I designed....and magazine covers I worked on....and logos for this and that in which I designed...

I want to be everywhere.

I want to go HUGE with my work. I wanna have huge murals on the sides of massive buildings that are so in your face that people complain....but they still look amazing.

I'm not gonna lie...I want fame off my work. Why?? Because that opens the doors for me to spread my stuff further. I don't dream of dollar signs but I do dream of accomplishing and being able to show my kids everything I've done one day. The money will come eventually. Fortunately, I'm already making decent money off my work. But obviously I have such a long way to go.

I can see myself creatively directing projects more than anything in the future. I'm really good at making a brand and having it seamlessly form together...but I'm not the best painter or drawer or cut paper-er or whatever.

I could ramble forever but I really want to eventually open my own design firm....creative firm....and simply create awesome stuff. It's not about me. It's about the client and making their visuals look amazing. We can make the world such an AWESOME place through visuals and architecture. It's awesome to think about. It's possible. We can make things better via art and design. Art and design controls the way we think and the way we live.

Lastly.....I promise....lastly about this......I know I have such a long way to go. But I'm gonna get there if I'm living. It may not be until I'm 50 but I'll get there. And you'll hear about it.

HAVE YOU CONSIDERED AN INTERNSHIP DURING YOUR COLLEGE EXPERIENCE? IF SO, WHERE WOULD YOUR IDEAL LOCATION BE TO HAVE AN INTERNSHIP.

Yes. Charlotte Bobcats. Graphic Design intern. Please.

WHERE WILL YOU BE IN 5 YEARS?

Ohhhhh mannnnnnnnn. I'll be 25. I'll probably have been working somewhere as a designer for a year or two by then. It's hard to say. I have legit connections to the music business and famous people so I could be in LA or NY helping out a rapper or pop star with their creative direction...or I could be here in Charlotte working for the Charlotte Bob....errr Hornets. We'll see what happens.

If it's up to me I'll definitely have a girlfriend that I'm so in love with.

My brand will have been up and running for a few years by then. Hopefully I'll have it in local stores by then.

This is a hard question. I really have no idea what's going to happen with my life but I know what I want.

I want love and I want to succeed at doing what I love.

WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU IN LIFE?

Love, family and my dreams.

If I don't have my family, I don't know how I'd allow myself to live...honestly. I need my family. My sister is my best friend and my parents are great. I need them. Of course I'll move out and do my own thing and create my own path but they are forever so important to me. I wanna make them proud.

I've talked about love alot. It's the one thing I've never experienced as far as a GF type thing goes. I've never had a GF. I know it's not the most important thing ever....but I want it so bad because I feel like I'd be truly happy having someone who wanted me.

I'll be open here and say I don't chase girls for sex or anything even remotely close to that like others do. It's just not in me to do that.

The typical response I get from others regarding this is just.....be patient......girls will want you.....blah blah blah.

But it's hard to be patient! I haven't experienced anything that gives me hope that anyone will ever love me. It's just hard to imagine. I can imagine succeeding in the art world...but I can't imagine being in love and having someone hug me like I'm the greatest person ever. I can't. I don't know how to get that. It really makes me so sad. I feel unwanted.

My dreams are the one thing no one can ever take from me. People can hurt me and make me feel bad but I will always fall asleep dreaming of what I want. I have to protect and nurture my dreams until I can make them reality. I think I can do it...I just need time. Luckily, time is a luxury.

I'm holding back a lot of thoughts here....but yes....love, family and my dreams. That's all that matters to me. If I didn't have my family....or the chance of being loved by a beautiful kind caring woman...or if my dreams were gone.....I'd rather not live.

HOW WILL YOU BALANCE CAREER AND FAMILY?

If I find love and have kids....they will be what inspires me to do awesome stuff. I will depend on them to be my everything as much as they depend on me for financial support/father-husband love. I don't need anything from them other than to just be alive.

I won't struggle to balance things. I may be super busy but I will treat a woman like a queen one day and my kids will be put in the best position possible to make their dad look bad one day because they're so awesome.

ART MAKING CAN BE LONELY AND ISOLATING WORKING IN THE STUDIO. HOW WILL YOU ENTER AN ARTISTIC COMMUNITY ONCE YOU LEAVE ART SCHOOL?

I'm not sure honestly. I need to figure this out...I don't have the answer at the moment.

I do plan on creating my own community tho. I will have my own art shows and they will be amazing. I really hope I will, at least. I'm gonna do it all myself.

I don't believe in myself enough to think that someone else will cosign my work and put it in a gallery...but I'll make my own gallery and hopefully get people to come...

I'll shut up. I sound dumb but I have lots of ideas.

I'm really lonely. I don't know how I'm gonna be involved to be honest.

SHOULD ART BE MADE FOR AN AUDIENCE OR FOR OURSELVES?

Both. It depends on who you are. Do whatever makes you happy. I find joy in sharing everything I do and getting instant feedback. Others like to draw pictures and be happy because they created it for themselves...that's so awesome. I hope everyone just creates in a way that makes them happy.

CAN ART CHANGE THE WAY PEOPLE THINK?

Yes. Like I said, we can literally change the world via design and art. Sounds insane but I believe the world can be so much better if we improve the simplest things via art and design.

Art is everywhere. Someone...talented or awful....created everything around you. Steve Jobs once said.. roughly.. that things seem lot more accomplishable once you realize everything around you was created by people who aren't any smarter than you are.

I hope I can have an effect on the world somehow. I wanna make my mark. I gotta figure it out.

WHAT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AS AN ARTIST, AS A CITIZEN OF YOUR COUNTRY?

To make awesome stuff.

I don't need to spread a message or have my art show people how bad things are in the world. I can and probably will do that tho...but my responsibility is to make the best visuals possible. Things must look amazing at all times.

I'm sick of seeing terribly designed flyers and awful billboards and logos and album covers and etc....we can make things so much better.

Real artists and architects can enter a store and tell you how things would work better if we change things visually and worked on adjusting the way things are arranged....and more.

I don't wanna seem ignorant but I really think we can make the world a better place by simply making everything more awesome visually.




I feel bad that I haven't fully explained all my ideas. I need to make a huge blog post explaining everything better. I have a lot to say whether it's viewed as important or not.

Thanx for at least looking at this tho, I really appreciate it.

POLITICS

I'm sorry for not making this post sooner. I've been busy with a lot of stuff and I don't know...just haven't made a post. I'm sorry.

But anyways about mine and Brittany's project--

I feel like our plan was good. The execution? Not so much. To start, we should've measured how much space we had in the window and made things fit more appropriately. I can't believe I didn't even think of that. What we did looked okay but personally I was bothered by it because it wasn't exactly how it was supposed to be.

No knock on Brittany at all, she was an awesome partner and very kind...I know I can be frustrating so I applaud her. BUT I don't think we connected exactly. That's not her fault. I pull inspiration from weird places. I enjoy different things and where I'm coming from can be really abstract. That's why I think I tend to stutter a bit or not be able to explain things well... because I know not everyone likes what I like.

For example...visually I pulled from cover art for the singer The Weeknd and his project "House Of Balloons" (could also look at Echoes of Silence or Thrusday, same concept).

The cover art has a very Crate & Barrel catalog cover feel. I love how all information is presented to you at once. It's straight forward and the basics of what you need to know. Title, Tracks, Artist.

So what I took from this was the way everything is organized. You don't need excessive detail to make something effective.

Another visual I pulled inspiration from is the way clothing brands set up sell sheets. Honestly I did one for my own brand that I'm working on and I was inspired by myself...but for the sake of this blog and the class I'll show a random one from Google..

Again, I really love the way everything is organized. This sell sheet has alot of info, but visually everything is appealing to me personally. It's very industrial and almost has an architectural feel.

More and more I look at architecture as a plan for art work. When I do a project I have everything I do measured out exactly how it needs to be so it's PERFECT. I didn't even realize I did this until this semester.

You can see the inspiration turned to reality via my plan for the project..

Conceptually, Brittany and I both liked the idea behind "Coexist" and the way everyone knows what it is and yet it's only a sticker that you see on cars. I tired telling her that we needed to create something that people could look at and identify without having to read a paragraph or use their brain at all to figure out. Seeing the "WE" logo...people may not know exactly what it stands for but assumption will likely be made.

In conclusion..

I'm glad I worked with Brittany. She's an awesome person and I REALLY REALLY appreciate her being so kind to me...it meant alot. As you know I've been struggling lately and trying hard to just bottle things up and deal with it...so I appreciate having a partner who tried to understand and work with me.

I'll never forget that she said she was intimidated to work with me. I think WAY too much but maybe I'm kind of an intimidating person. See this is where I run into problems...I don't want to change but I feel like I need to in order to draw people in. All I wanna do is be a nice person who helps others and succeeds and what I wanna do. I don't wanna intimidate people and one of the things that bothers me more than ANYTHING is when I think people have the wrong idea about me....so I hope she at least knows now that I'm not stuck up or intimidating....I hope I was a good partner.

Specifically about our project....yeah it should've been better. It was hard working with someone on something with a touchy subject and not have enough time to REALLY plan our thoughts out.

I feel bad that our presentation went poorly but I guess it's in the past now.

"Man I got too much on my head to have to deal..."

"...with all of you"

-My Idol

------RANDOM POST------

IDK

I don't what to say really so I'll ramble. We've been working on this partner project and it's going fine but I feel....weird. I like the way it's going but I'm not a fan of having to push ideas on someone. I think Brittany is a great person and partner. Seriously, she's put up with a lot working with me and hasn't seemed frustrated at all. I just feel bad that like this is my idea and stuff. Our project is going to look good...but I'm not really confident in her feeling like it's great or anyone else thinking it's awesome. I keep stressing that I'll do whatever SHE wants...I really will. I just push ideas to these odd places that she probably doesn't go to. That's not a bad thing...I'm just really weird I guess.

And that's something that's bothering me. I DO think she truly views me as good for whatever reason...but at the same time I think she thinks I'm really weird. It's almost to the point for me now where I'm paranoid all the time trying to hide my face and bury myself in a hole (figuratively) because I don't wanna concern other people. I'm so bothered because I just can't fit in....like with anyone. Not with my partner or the class or anyone. It's not that I want to change and blend in.....I definitely do not. I've tried hard to stand out with every project for 2D and Concepts all semester. But then again, I'm at a point where I'm DYING to click with someone. I'm sick of feeling like an outcast and getting awkward silences whenever I have some big idea and I speak my mind about it.

I mean I'm gonna do my thing regardless...(this attitude is another thing I'm concerned about showing. I'll explain later.)....but I think someone pushing me a bit would take me to a new level. I know I'm just supposed to wait it out and not stress over it...and that someone will come around when I'm not looking for her....but I want a girlfriend or at least a really close friend who would LISTEN TO ME. Sorry but I actually do need an ego boost. I need someone to think I'm awesome. Personally and creatively. I don't need any of the usual "benefits" that come with a girlfriend if ya catch my drift...I'm not that typa guy. I'm weird as f^&(. I guess. I would rather have someone hug me when they see me and text me when I'm not expecting it to tell me they like some design I posted online. I'd be so happy and feel like I finally mattered and I'd push myself further and further to grow and create other dope things because SHE liked it. I know lots of people like me work...but I feel like there just isn't someone who will ever crush on me and admire me like I crush on and admire others. Like, I really really truly don't believe that I'm going to find that person. I'm not the "hot guy" that girls crush on. I'm the weird creative kid that others just ASSUME has great confidence and thinks everyone else sucks. This is all weird of me....a 20 year old GUY....to be talking about....but it's all relevant to who I am and what/how I create.

Going back to my "I'm gonna do me regardless" attitude.....I think I've shown that to Brittany a bit much. I'm never cocky or over the top at all....but I feel like I just turn people off. I'm not sure. I'm probably thinking too much but it makes me just wanna cry because I can't ever win in my head. I'm SUPPOSED to be happy and SUPPOSED to be confident and all these things but when I try I always do it wrong and I'm right where I always am....down.

All I wanna do is be happy and create stuff and show love to others. I think I need to just accept that there won't ever be someone else who appreciates who I am in the way I want them too. I don't need much...and that's what sucks. I can't even get the least from someone. I'm not good enough in my current state....and I will not change who I am. I like being Jesse but I hate myself because I'm so delusional for thinking that I can accomplish. It's better to accept my irrelevance and weirdness than to believe in myself as a person.

I might as well just not even think about love in any way. I fall easily for art and colors and music and clothes and pretty people and things....but most people aren't like that. Love is just a let down. Art won't ever love me back. My favorite basketball team won't love me back. Clothes won't love me back. A totally awesome tie dye print I just discovered won't love me back.....I've been holding out hope that maybe a girl will love me back for everything that I am....but maybe I'm just too weird. Too "interesting"(negative...instead of saying weird) and out there. I'm not ideal. I'm not gorgeous. I'm nothing that any girl wants. So I just give up with that. I'm on my own.

THIS IS NOT WHINING. NOT COMPLAINING. IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER WHAT I SAY. I JUST HAVE TO RAMBLE. I GET CRITICIZED FOR HOLDING IT IN SO IT'S BETTER TO RAMBLE.

:(

I mean

:)

:|

Ignore me.

WE

HELLO.

I Hate Myself

Everything.

I HATE PAINT x NEW INSPIRATION x THOUGHTS

Painting is awful. Right now anyways, it is. I did awful on my 2D project. I wanted to do it differently but due to rules and lack of confidence I just couldn't do it. I want my project back soon so I can just do what I wanted with it. I'm just accepting what I did as an F but I need to have some fun with it and make it something I actually love. I'll likely use alot of colored pencil on top of what I've already done.

I've been really inspired by WES LANG as of late. My book project was definitely inspired by him and I want to keep exploring the style. His work resembles sketch book pages. It's kind of all over the place...but I would pay for his originals. It's different from most artwork we discuss in 2D or concepts, and different from what I hear others discussing. We all have different tastes, but I really love Wes Lang's work and I find it to be quite gorgeous. 

Wes definitely uses paint in his projects...I realize I said I hate paint....it's true.....I hate it. But that doesn't mean I'm not gonna try getting better. I can use it well when I'm not being forced to paint specific things. If I can just play with it and allow myself to create, I think I could have some decent results. Just don't expect me to be painting a perfect orange. 

I'm just really frustrated in general right now. I'm kind of over everything and don't know what to do with myself or how to handle things at the moment. This semester has been okay....not looking forward to starting a new semester. I'm not doing well in a couple non-art classes and I'm trying hard to just pass. If I didn't NEED a degree I wouldn't be in college honestly. I just want the best for myself but it's hard to keep going sometimes...most of the times. As the semester has come closer to ending I feel myself slipping with my art/other work but for some reason I feel like I just can't do anything about it. Almost like I'm truly just not good enough. 

COSTUME PROJECT

Alright so I really enjoyed planning this project and was excited up until the past few days for the presentation day. But the last few days have been rough for me and it took all my enthusiasm away.

And then today when getting dressed for the presentation, my shirt with the hanging jewels was ALL TANGLED and I had to cut the strings and tape the jewels on. It looked so ghetto and I spent so much time making sure it was perfect. OF COURSE it got tangled and ruined. OF COURSE. I spent a few hours making sure each strand was even and the jewels were applied perfectly. I'm so mad they got tangled.

I don't really think anyone noticed or cared tho so it's whatever.

I think my mask worked well. It was inspired by Margiela masks (below)....originally I planned to apply jewels and make it more directly like what you see in the pics. However, I didn't have enough time and I'm making masks in my free time that will be used for my brand's photoshoots. I just need to figure out the pattern/shape of the fabric and overall just the technique I should be using.

Specifically for this project I was inspired and influenced by Kanye West's "Yeezus Tour" costumes. I hate that I keep referencing him for all my projects but it's just the way it's worked out I guess. Anyway....his costumes are incredible. From the masks down to the shoes....beautiful. He made the Margiela diamond masks famous amongst regular people like me. I had never seen anything even similar to the masks until he wore them. 

Below is a picture of me wearing my mask.

I was influenced by the mask worn by West on the top right, below...

Again I admittedly could've done way better with the mask but I think it accomplished what I needed it to. I used a piece of shiny fabric that I could see thru, as opposed to using mesh and jewels....that would've cost alot more money and used up alot of time. 

For the rest of my outfit I was also influenced by West's costume/outfit in the above picture on the right. My goal was create a holy-esque but creepy character. I wanted to appear unapproachable. I wanted to look confident and demand attention. Intimidating. Like I said in class, I don't have any supreme self confidence(that others seem to think I have, I've learned recently). I think my ideas are good....but can ----I--- make my ideas reality? I doubt myself. I get down on myself. But my costume made me appear like....F*** everyone I'm shining and I have chains on and it looks totally un-earthly.......I don't have an "F***" anyone personality at all.....but this was supposed to show an alter ego in many ways. 

Many people approached this as a typical COSTUME. Like a Halloween costume. Or a costume for a play....and that's totally awesome. I really loved alot of people's costumes. There were very very very very few people's projects that I didn't completely love. But anyway...I approached this project as a fashion project, in costume form. It obviously wasn't something I or anyone would wear out in public....but it WAS an exaggeration of what someone might wear. I may wear a couple chains, but not 10 like I had on. I would wear a nice long coat, but not that long and I wouldn't wear it in the exact way that I did.....and obviously people may call the cops if I show up at McDonald's wearing a mask.

Colors I chose (navy, black, silver) simply looked good together...and the navy played to my skin tone better than all black would've. 

I just wish I could've had more time with this project. I have ideas NOW that I wish I could've executed. Like I said, I will be making more masks and I'll be sure to show you. 

Below is an image of my sketch(in my sketchbook) of my costume. I think I matched it pretty well.

Mint Museum Trip

A week ago today me and Julia went over to the Mint and checked out everything we were told to. I enjoyed going with her a lot, she's a ton of fun to be around. She was into the victorian style dresses and outfits more than anything. Personally I really liked the poncho type things...I'm not sure if those were one of the things we were told to look at but they were really cool. That style is actually kind of in now, so I could see a modern version of those being worn by females today.

Below are a few comments on each section we looked at in the Mint:

Arts of Africa

I find African Art to be incredible in some aspects. Mostly because I think it's awesome how much detail and quality they put into each piece, considering the circumstances.

Masks of Mexico

I like masks in general so these were cool to see. Again, just in general I think the craftsmanship is amazing due to the circumstances the artists were in. They didn't have endless paints and other resources like we have today. Also, the masks create characters that are completely original....today it's hard to create things that are as original as they were hundreds of years ago. Our whole culture is influenced by things we have seen or experienced. The makers of these Mexican masks didn't have wi-fi and an iPad to pull up the latest thing to use as inspiration like I can.

Fashion Silhouettes

I enjoy fashion in general so I really liked seeing actual clothing from different time periods. It's crazy how much fashion has changed...mostly due to culture. There are noticeably big differences in victorian dresses and St. Laurent dresses, and it makes me think about what the future will look like as far as clothing goes.

Elegance and Ease

Dior, Balmain and St. Laurent....3 of the biggest names in fashion. I don't think the displays at the Mint really helped viewers understand the quality and beauty in each piece of clothing. I wasn't completely intrigued by the pieces we saw but they were most certainly awesome.

I was talking to Julia at the Mint about this......is clothing considered art? I can see a costume being considered artwork but is something like a jacket considered an artwork? The phrase "work of art" may be used when describing a gorgeous dress....I would agree with that too.....but technically speaking does fashion=art? Or are they 2 separate things? I guess it depends.

Contemporary Mayan Textiles

Honestly I don't remember these vividly. Maybe this is where the ponchos I spoke of fit in? If not, sorry...but I'll talk about the ponchos more here since I don't know what else to say!

There was one poncho in particular that I liked alot. It had beautiful roses stitched into the fabric....makes it even crazier knowing that they didn't have machines to embroider it for them. That particular poncho and pattern on the piece made me think of sweaters and shirts I see at Forever 21 or other women's clothing stores....going back to what I said about fashion evolving....you can see the connections.

OVERALL the trip to the Mint was good! Wish we could've stayed a bit longer...Julia had a 12:30 class and I couldn't cause her to be late so we rushed!

Below are some pics she took while we were there....

COSTUME(?)

BEAUTIFUL!

Jungle

I chose to do a Ecology photo series based on Uptown Charlotte for a few reasons...first of all, I'm not one to really go out in the woods or anything very often. I don't have any problem with it, but I was naturally drawn to tall buildings for this project rather than tall trees. Also, I thought most people would likely do a project based on the outdoors and I like doing what I expect others not to do. Someone giggled when I said that in class but it's true...I don't see any problem with having that attitude towards these projects. I really want mine to stand out and be memorable. 

As I said in my presentation, I chose the colors that I did because I wanted the series to stand out and make the buildings allude to being a forest. 

I was inspired by thermal imagery, Virgil Abloh and Joe Perez for this project.

Below, view a few unedited raw pics that I took for this project.

HAD TO SHARE

I get emails from people all the time telling me how much they like my work. I've even had others do college art/research projects about me.

Really bizarre...but extremely awesome. The internet is magical, I swear.

HOWEVER...this is a bit different from the typical email.

Someone is evidently extremely enamored by me. I have no idea who this person is but they idolize me! ME. I'm not even THAT good! I just create some random stuff and people seem to really attach to my style...especially this person!

Read what they had to say in the blog post they made about me....

http://mariodesigns.zohosites.com

This is nothing but awesome....I love that I can impact someone's life with my work. In my mind I'm so far away from being what I want, so it's MIND BLOWING that people LOVE what I create.

I'm not one to pump myself up or brag at all...but if I have this kind of support now, imagine what I can do when I'm actually a good artist rather than a kid with ideas!!!

...a terribly written blog post but....I'm too freaked out/happy about this to even care about my awful grammar!

:)

No Title.

This week just wasn't very good. I'm really struggling to stay as positive as I have been....my classes aren't bad or anything but I'm not excited at all about ANYTHING. I feel so blurred out and black and white all the time. I know that I can't just complain and except things to change, but it's hard when you really don't know what to do. I try doing little things different...like even getting out of bed differently or walking new routes on campus or etc etc etc....but outside of that it's all a lost cause. I feel like it really doesn't matter whether I go to class or not because no one will notice or care that I'm absent. It sucks that nothing I can do will ever attract or captivate anyone...and it sucks that I have to try so hard to even be noticed at all. I'm referring to myself as a person when I speak of this but it can also refer to my artwork.

I know I could join some clubs and stuff but I feel so uncomfortable around people I don't know...like, I'm legit scared to take steps towards anything. I know that I have to take steps or I'll always be stationary literally and figuratively...but I just feel like I can't do it.

I know I'm not the best artist or the best looking or the best at anything and that's what bothers me so much. I have nothing to offer anyone. Half of the time I think about how many people are so much better than me........and then I also think about how I'm doing what I can/what I love most of the time and I don't want to be any different. I'm stuck. I don't wanna change but I'm not sure what to do to become relevant.

I have really big dreams and good ideas and stuff but I have NO hope for myself to achieve at really anything. It's all fun to think about but I don't see my dreams becoming reality for the most part.

Mostly I feel like a disappointment. My family is proud of me and stuff for whatever I do but I feel like I should and could be so much better.

Today on the field trip I remembered how much fun field trips used to be when I was little. Those were the best days. All my friends were there and I could just be myself. Today I couldn't be myself. No one wants to know me and I want to know them. Yes I want to know them. I'll get to know anyone. See, I'm okay around people in classes because at least they (might) know my name....I belong in the class.....with joining a club or approaching a stranger, I don't belong and I'll be rejected because of my looks and whatnot. I get really excited when someone even texts me because it makes me feel needed for at least a minute. I get really excited when someone talks to me. I live off the little high's and excitement I get when someone gives me something to think about.

I'm just rambling with no direction.....I don't have much to say about the actual Concepts class.....sorry. I know that's what the blog is for but I think my thoughts that I'm expressing are more important.

I guess I'll do a photo series for this Ecology project. American Apparel-esque. You'll see...it'll be cool I guess.

PRESENTATION WEEK

The week started off pretty bad for me personally. I was very down on myself and my body was reacting bad to the self displeasure and I felt sick for about 5 days straight. That's why I was so stand offish towards the beginning of the week. Most of the time I don't feel like it matters whether I'm in any of my classes or not. I gotta stop doing this to myself so often. It makes weeks of my life a complete waste. I wish there was a switch that I could just flip off and I'd feel better but it doesn't work that way. I don't wanna get into this anymore tho.

With that being said, I'm very happy to say that I feel like my week ended well. I put on a brave face and shield everyone from how I'm feeling now...but today I was actually happy.

I think I nailed my project and presentation. I really feel good about it....not in a cocky way....I just feel good about it and I think that's a good thing. I have not ever talked about the meaning behind the ADMIRE Girl to anyone in public so it was a big step to actually "show off" something I'm passionate about. On a regular basis...I'd rather not talk abut particular's as far as things I do. But when "forced" to in class and when classmates are "forced" to give feedback...I can at least pretend that others care.

What could I have improved on? First of all, I was mad that my piece wasn't PERFECTLY hung. I could've done it better had I been able to get to class about an hour early instead of 30 minutes early. Thankfully when I did arrive, a girl showed up shortly after and was kind enough to help me hang it up. I really appreciate that.

Also, I wish my "Process" section in my presentation wasn't messed up. One of the pictures on the slide should've been swapped with the one that was above it....bothers me.

..

As a whole, I think the class did alot better with "Time" than "Traces". Everyone's work was pretty solid. I had favorites of course, but I can't point out any particular ones that I actually DISLIKED....and that's good.

I just hope people cared about what I said. It means alot that they listened tho.

PRJCT II PRPSLS

TIME is a non spatial continuum that is measured in terms of events which succeed one another from past through present to future according to MERRIAM-WEBSTER.COM

My project will touch on events and/or points of time.

PROPOSAL #1

INSTALLATION 

Sometime during the first couple weeks of class, we saw a installation piece in a Rowe gallery that gave me this idea. I forget the subject matter and concept of the piece but it consisted of 2 large hanging papers with holes in them. You could see through the paper and onto the other side. 

ANYWAYS..

I created what I call the "Admire girl" (SEE AT BOTTOM OF POST) about a year ago and she's based on a vintage comic. "She" has a lot of meaning behind her and is a symbol of positivity and true admiration of perceived greatness. My goal when I designed "her" was to make "her" appear as if "she" was photographed admiring a king/queen/leader/idol/celebrity/etc. The piece as a whole was made to look like the front of a magazine. 

"She" is dynamic in that "she" is a constant reminder that someone ADMIRE's you and see's your inner and outer beauty even if you don't recognize it yourself. If you walk by a poster, or person wearing a shirt with "her" on it, or even look in the mirror while wearing the shirt.....the Admire girl is looking back at you in admiration.

NOW....my idea for an installation piece is to have a huge version of the Admire girl printed....and then I'd also design a 2nd piece that would be printed in the same size. The 2nd piece would illustrate important figures and pieces of pop culture such as celebrities and music. 

The glasses of the Admire girl would be cut out so you could look thru her eyes and see what "she" sees.....which is the greatness that surrounds us.

WHY? I think.....I KNOW.....that our culture is so disposable. Music comes out daily....hourly.....and we forget to stop and ADMIRE what people have created. You often see people even making fun of others for being a fan of an artist(musical or visual), or celebrity or etc. We fully believe as a society that it's okay to not give credit where it's due. We are brought up to believe you can do exactly what Lil' Wayne has done (won multiple Grammy's....1 million copies sold in one week-TWICE...etc) and that it's not that hard. YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, but why is it okay to tell the youth that you can be the next Lil' Wayne if you work hard? That's false. You must have talent. It's okay to sit back and say....WOW, what he did was incredible. I HOPE I can get to that point one day. It's wrong to not Admire. Without admiration, we have no idols. If we have no idols, history books(or websites) in the future will all be a step by step "how to" rather than a LOOK WHAT THIS PERSON DID IT'S INCREDIBLE! THIS IS HOW HE DID IT! THIS IS AMAZING! HOW CAN WE TAKE WHAT HE DID AND APPLY IT TO OUR LIVES?? HOW CAN WE IMPROVE?? ......but really the whole point is to get people to slow down and appreciate the greatness that surrounds us. Everything was not better in the past. The best music did not solely exist in the past. The best art did not solely exist in the past. There are extraordinary human beings and art and music and events that are CURRENT.

It's a complex issue but I'm obviously passionate about it.

PROPOSAL #2

ACCUMULATION 

Playing off the same ideas from PRPSL #1...

I would accumulate CD's to symbolize pop culture and obviously music. My idea would be to paint everything black....the case, the CD itself, the matte board....everything is the same color and blends together. I was thinking that around 3-5 CD's would be appropriate. They would be glued to a matte board with even space between them. Around the CD to the right there would be a solid-bold-white circle that surrounded it. 

My idea is that everything blends together and we focus on the most recent item (we read left to right....it would be implied that the furthest to the right CD is the most recent). Everything else that isn't "new" is forgotten about but still there. Even when we do focus on what's "current" we aren't really LOVING and ADMIRING it....we are just focusing on it because it's new. We forget that it's okay to love.

PROPOSAL #3

PRINT MEDIA

Playing off the same ideas from PRPSL #1 & #2

As mentioned in PRPSL #1...the Admire girl is meant to surround you with love and admiration. I would love to get multiple prints of "her" done and have them hung all over a wall in a public place. Somewhere where people will for sure notice. 

HOWEVER, I've done this before to some extent and I'd rather hold off with PRINT MEDIA....I have better ideas for that later in the semester....


I'm going to most likely do PRPSL #1. 

Suggestions? Please let me know!

ADMIRE GIRL:

FIND THE "ADMIRE GIRL" ON ADMIREFESTIVAL.COM 

Another Week..

This was a different week in comparison to others...no projects were due for either of my studio classes and we did more planning and talking than anything. Honestly I was kind of glad I didn't HAVE TO make any artwork this week because I simply couldn't until around Friday. I just wasn't up to it. It's also super hard to work in class on ideas and projects when people around you are in your personal space and you feel boxed in by their bodies and conversations. I know I will have to and I can work with and around others no problem, but I was trying to focus on a personal project...

Anyway, on to what we did in concepts...

We talked, watched and read about several well known artists from the post modern era. Most of which I wasn't very intrigued by honestly. I guess I'm just sort of selective when it comes to art. It's not that I can't appreciate the art but some of the stuff simply doesn't excite me.

Oddly, I enjoyed the reading we went over in class. I didn't read every single word but some things capture my attention. I like talking about the theories and higher levels of thinking that go behind the artwork. It can help your own personal artwork if you understand WHY others have created pieces in the way they did.

Also specifically I enjoyed the way PM art pushed boundaries. I know it's an ongoing joke that I was so upset because people broke rules with their projects but most of the time I'm the one trying to go outside the set rules when it comes to art or society rules. I definitely haven't ever broken the law or anything like that....but I'm referring to being personally upset with the way the media portrays men to be "gay" if they like fashion.....or the way Hardee's commercials make all men seem dirty truck driving delinquents who can't keep the food in their mouths. I think it's so awesome that artwork can change the way people think. In many ways, art is the media. It does the same thing. If you see a poster over and over again that says XYZ, is it not the same as seeing a commercial on TV that says ABC??

There's a time to follow the rules, and there's a time to break boundaries. Follow the rules when your teacher TELLS you to use 1 type of paint and 1 piece of paper. Don't use acrylics when he or she told you to use oils only. In the real world your project and hard work would be automatically rejected in most circumstances because your work didn't fit the clients criteria. Break boundaries when you have any idea or concept that could possibly be groundbreaking or make others think in a new way. It doesn't even have to be something super important or political...maybe you think all women should never wear tennis shoes.....pretty insane but if you believe in it don't worry about what others have to say and make artwork that speaks your message.

On to open studio day...

I'm not gonna lie I felt super uncomfortable and intimidated all day. To start off I barely got their on time because the traffic was bad...I hate being even close to late.

Thankfully I enjoyed most of the rooms we visited. Fibers was super eye opening to me because I didn't realize it was as fashion oriented as it is. I'm definitely planning on at least taking Fibers 1.

Of course, I loved finally seeing where graphic design is. I'm 100% focusing on Graphic Design and I've known that since middle school...I'm just ready to start.

Painting was scary. Drawing was scary. Installation was scary. Anything that had to do with building or sculpting.....SCARY. I don't think I'm good enough for the typical "high art" stuff. I can't paint realistic stuff. I can't draw a random girl on some stools in a weird position and have it look good. I really hope I don't need to take a class like that..

All in all Open Studio Day wasn't bad but it kinda made me feel...bad(?). First of all I don't really know anyone in the whole school other than the few people I talk to in my classes. And I was kind of stand offish towards the one girl that's in 2 of my classes. I feel bad about that because I didn't mean to be. She and others are so nice to me but I feel like I'm completely irrelevant. Everyone knows so many other people or at least a few other people and I'm just the random quiet(but not really) kid. Having a hard time feeling like I belong or matter in classes or with anyone.

Overall it was an okay week. Sorry for not posting earlier but I've been busy with some client work and  my 2D project.

J

WEEK 3 x FIRST PRESENTATION

Alright so thankfully my first presentation of the year is done and out of the way! I admittedly stressed over it and wanted everything to be exactly how it needed to be...and it was. I could've done better but that goes for anything. Always room for improvement. 

Anyways, my project actually went really smoothly. The only thing that was kind of annoying was taking the process pictures (see below). Obviously my project was a video so I couldn't really take process pictures in the same way someone would have for a painting or something. 

Regardless here are the pics:

So like I said I didn't really run into any issues. The process pics I took were simply pics of my materials for each 'scene' in the video. 

The video took a couple hours to edit. I've had some experience with video editing so I knew exactly what I wanted to do.

Personally I take more time brainstorming in my head than anything. I think about stuff for days and then execute within a single day when I can sit down and get into my zone. I don't procrastinate at all...I do stuff a couple days ahead of the due date always, but I normally just get stuff done all in one sitting.

As far as my presentation goes, I feel like I did pretty well. I could have done better of course...but all in all it wasn't too bad. I didn't include any negatives or failures in my process like others did so I felt like that was a big positive. Also, because Ms. Rothrock said the presentation was a presentation of our process, I felt it was important to show the artists/inspirations first. You could clearly see elements of each artist/inspiration in my final video (see below).

Overall, I think I did well. My final project stood out compared to others (everlasting personal mission complete!) and my presentation was very good compared to most of the class. I kicked off the class well with a nice first project and can't wait to top myself.

CLASS REVIEW: Honestly, I was kind of disappointed by some people. I don't see how an art student can't put together a visually appealing powerpoint. It just makes no sense to me. I'm not acting like mine was GREAT or anything (believe me I literally go to sleep thinking about how I should've done it!). I just feel like some people don't have any taste or creativity. It takes away from their artwork as well when their presentation isn't any good. You don't even need to be good at making Powerpoint's or Photoshop (made mine in PS and created a PDF doc which acted as a slideshow) to make a visually appealing slideshow. You can make something super simple ala high fashion advertisements with minimal text, solid colors and clean lines EASILY. It's seriously not hard at all. I don't mean to sound rude but I think it's ridiculous how unprofessional and 9th grade English class-esque MOST of the presentations were. AGAIN, mine wasn't the greatest thing either and I'm going to improve on it. Mine was at least not cooke cutter or just flat out ugly....in my opinion anyways. 

Regarding the actual ARTWORK...again I was kindaaaa disappointed. I liked the one light piece that reflected the shadow of the home school chess club trophy. The concept was A++++++ and the lighting and presentation were very well done. 

Other than that project nothing really stood out to me. I def respect the guy who did the animation because it was very well done. I've done a bit of that myself and I know it's super tedious...he nailed it. HOWEVER, I think he could've knocked it out of the park if he made the clip into more of a short webisode type thing as opposed to just a random clip. I'm talking about adding a creative title and stuff. In my opinion that would've really helped. 

Wasn't too fond of the fact that one person didn't even complete a project and just presented failures. However I won't get into that. If you aren't bothered to COMPLETE SOMETHING then I won't bother to complete thi.........

Oops. 

:) 

Sorry to come across as rude if you took it that way. Everything I say in regards to myself or others is only fueled by my love and passion for this. I just want everyone in the class kill every project we do. I wish I could help. I'm no superstar artist but I still like trying to offer my advice.... I don't know. I try.

WEEK DOS (CPCC + MORE)

Sooooo week 2 was interesting. I didn't enjoy it as much as week 1(not because of concepts but just in general). As you likely know if you're reading this, we took a trip to CPCC to view 2 galleries on Tuesday. I'm from Charlotte...actually we passed the field where my sister had soccer practice in the past while looking for a parking spot...but I've never be in a building on the CPCC campus. So it was a new adventure even for a local like myself.

On to the artwork we viewed at CP...

I actually wasn't moved by nor did I enjoy the artwork we saw. None of it was really done in a style that caught my eye...I felt as if a lot of it was very cliche and what I would expect to be hanging in a community college art gallery. That doesn't mean it was bad, but rather that it was boring to me personally.

I'm just not a fan of anything that satisfies my expectations when viewing artwork. I don't want to see what I expect. I can still see and appreciate how good the paintings and sculptures were...but I certainly wouldn't pay for any of the artwork I saw. Again, not knocking down the artists, I just wasn't interested in any of it.

Today (THURSDAY) in class we brought our proposals for our first project and shared with partners. I was very uncomfortable with this for a couple reasons...first of all I wasn't prepared to talk about it with others...I have to plan that out in my head in order to sound half way intelligent. Also, I don't like sharing my ideas until I really love my ideas. I have no problem with critique or ideas from others or talking about my ideas but I don't like having my creative process(not exactly even sure what it is but it doesn't normally involve incomplete thoughts.) messed with.

It's all good tho!

Until next time..

What Is There To Say?

Well, actually there's a lot to say...I have a lot to say...but right now I'm not sure what direction to go in. I turned 20 yesterday and I'm only a couple days away from the first day of my second year at UNC Charlotte. 

At this point in my life I have a huge amount of ideas for future businesses, forms of art work and much more...slowly but surely I'm figuring out ways to make things happen. I'm just trying to find my way through life and HOPEFULLY art classes will open my mind to new things and my self to new people. I'm down to learn and I'll actually be very upset if I don't. 

The goal is to stay positive and learn. There's not much else to my mindset this year.

Much love to whoever reads this blog from now until the end of the semester!

*Oh and lately I've been inspired by the mint green color you see in the header, and Steve Jobs...I'm weird...but I'll try to keep you updated with the little things that inspire me at the end of each blog post*

:)